The major cable networks briefly mentioned Sanders’s March 26th vote tallies but noted that he ran out of steam well shy of eighty per cent.
What’s funny is that this satirical piece actually has the numbers right!
It ends with:
“I think if he limps across the finish line with, say, seventy-five or seventy-nine per cent, it’s going to be time for him to reassess things,” one cable representative said. “That would have to be a wake-up call.”
A spokesperson for CNN could not be reached for comment, as the network was busy preparing a ninety-minute special on the birth of Donald Trump’s new grandchild.